Five Ways to Make a Captain Smile
by Les-Gateaux
Summary: Fuji is determined to make Tezuka smile...even if he does have to make a fool out of himself to do it. FujiTezu


Disclaimer: Tenipuri is not mine, or I would know how to draw the characters.

Yay! My parents got me a scanner for Xmas, so I started uploading pictures on my new LiveJournal, night song x (with underscores instead of spaces). Unfortunately, the scanner doesn't like me, and all the shading on the pics disappears…

Anyways, because I feel like writing a FujiTezu, here it is. Happy Day between Christmas and New Year's!

Five Ways to Make a Captain Smile

Fuji studied his Christmas present from Atobe. It was a rather thick volume, entitled 'One Hundred and One Ways to Make a Person Smile', and it was obvious what the Hyoutei captain was implying. However, Fuji had already gone through sixty-seven of them, and they didn't work.

Apparently, Tezuka wasn't ticklish. He also didn't think comedy movies were funny; nor did he laugh when Ryoma's cat showed up during practice and attacked Kaidoh. (Then again, that was understandable, because Karupin attacked Tezuka, too.) He didn't care for jokes, he ignored sarcasm, and Fuji was beginning to despair.

There were only five options left in the book that Fuji had the ability to try. He gazed at them thoughtfully.

Slowly, a sadistic smile spread across his face.

1. Bombard your target with florid, sparkly stickers whenever you have the chance.

Granted, that was bit unusal, but Fuji didn't mind unusual things. He rummaged around in the closet for as many stickers as he could find, which wasn't many. How disappointing.

Luckily, there was a children's toy shop nearby – the kind that had rows and rows of sparkly stickers – and, despite the fact that quite a few people gawked, the fourteen-year-old entered, selected the brightest and most colorful, paid, and sauntered out.

Monday couldn't come soon enough. When Tezuka entered the clubroom, he was vaguely astonished to see the ceilings and walls covered with glimmering yellow smiley faces, dolphins, and the like.

He twitched.

His annoyance was compounded when he found his tennis racket, which had been decorated with little pink bunnies. It looked like the racket of a four-year-old. A _female_ four-year-old.

And, when he'd finished peeling the stickers off his racket, he was not at all amused to find that _someone_ had slipped in behind him and put a giant sticker of a fuzzy bear on the back of his shirt.

Fuji was a bit disappointed that Tezuka hadn't smiled through all that. Then again, he'd had fun. Perhaps he would try it again sometime.

2. Tie your target up and tickle him with a peacock feather.

All right. Normal tickling hadn't worked, so apparently this was the 'in-depth' version. Arming himself with a long rope and around six feathers, the tensai started innocently towards Seigaku.

He noticed that Tezuka was on guard, probably due to the sticker incident. However, the captain was no match for him.

After practice, with the aid of an enthusiastic Kikumaru, Fuji entered the clubroom (where Tezuka was changing), flicked off all the lights, locked the door, and tied the struggling captain to a chair.

Eiji was giggling in the background, which probably didn't bode too well for him – after all, the redhead had a very distinct voice – but Fuji remained quiet and focused.

The two of them pulled out large peacock feathers and began tickling.

Four hours later, their arms were tired, and judging by the soft breathing, Tezuka was asleep.

3. Say the randomest things possible.

Well…ok, he was good at that. Wednesday started out inconspicuously. Fuji wandered onto the courts with an innocent smile. "Good morning, Tezuka," he called.

"…it's three in the afternoon," was the cool reply.

The tensai tilted his head. "Yes, but the weather reports claim that evil penguins will fly out from the tropics of Madagascar, and by turning the Earth around, it'll be morning in around five minutes."

Tezuka rewarded him with a blank stare. "Are you feeling all right?"

"Are you worried? That's so sweet! Marry me, Kuni-chan!"

The captain gaped for a few minutes – not smiling, though – and called Oishi over. "Escort Fuji to the health office. He probably hit his head on something."

"Ah…ok," the vice captain managed, and pulled Fuji towards the main building.

_Damnit…_

4. Crossdress and attempt to flirt with your target (for males only)

Hm.

"Yumiko-neesan?" the tensai asked hopefully.

His sister glanced over. "Yes?"

"Can I borrow that dance outfit of yours? You know, the one with the really really short skirt and low top?"

Yumiko stared at him. "…excuse me?"

Fuji smiled innocently. "Please? It's for…a school play."

"Um…" She rummaged around in her closet. A minute later, a skirt landed on the tensai's head, followed by a bright pink shirt. "There. Have fun. Oh, and make sure to get a few pictures taken."

"Ok." He lifted the clothing and gazed at it evilly.

Despite his usual protests, Fuji Syusuke really _did_ look effeminate. He wandered into school, surprisingly adept in his very high heels, and began walking towards his classroom.

Whispers sprang up as he passed. Most people didn't recognize him – after all, Yumiko had decided to assist her brother, and had slathered his face in all sorts of foreign substances usually labeled 'makeup' – but those that did were pretty much unconscious, and couldn't tell anyone who he was.

Kikumaru was basically the only one who didn't faint when he saw his friend, but he was too shocked too form a coherant thought. "F…f…f…fu…f…f…" was his only comment for the next few minutes.

Ignoring him, Fuji made his way to Tezuka's classroom and slid open the door. "Excuse me," he remarked to the very startled teacher. "I need to discuss an urgent matter with my boyfriend. Tezuka Kunimitsu? I believe he's in this class."

There was a thump as Oishi fell off his chair.

Tezuka looked up from where he'd been copying down the notes and froze.

"Kuni-chan!" Fuji called, waving wildly. "I just came to tell you that you left your book at my house last night!" He tossed a random novel in Tezuka's direction.

The book bonked the stunned captain on top of his head and rendered him unconscious.

"Oops." Fuji backed away, sliding the door shut.

5. If he's too stubborn, just ask him to smile, damnit!

"Tezuka?"

The captain shot the tensai a very wary glance. "Yes?"

"Sorry about yesterday."

"That's ok." He pulled out his racket.

"I was only doing it to get you to smile, you know."

Tezuka paused. "You made me go through this past week just to make me smile?"

"Saa…"

There was silence for a few seconds before the captain asked, "If I smile, will you stop bothering me?"

"…um, yes."

Tezuka smiled.

Fuji whipped out his digital camera and snapped a picture. "Thanks, Kuni-chan," he purred, and raced away.

The next day, it was in the school newspaper. 'Never Before Seen – Tennis Club Captain's Million-dollar Smile!' Below that was a picture of Tezuka, smiling, the wind playing with his hair.

Tezuka grabbed a copy from the desk by the main office and flipped to the article. 'Tezuka Kunimitsu has never been seen to smile before, but this picture shows that he revealed his gentle side to photographer Fuji Syusuke. Perhaps there is some truth to the rumor that they're going out, after all…'

Tezuka twitched. It was possible that he growled.

"FUJI!"

Hiding behind a door, Fuji grinned and began his thank-you note to Atobe.

* * *

Hmm…that was fun to write. 

Anyways, I have decided that scanners are evil evil things. Ah well.


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